After Shock
by Elouise Carter
Summary: This is a multichap based post-GoldenEye. Natalya is haunted by the happenings in Cuba and unwillingly gets pulled in to James's new assignment. Can they be together without getting hurt? James Bond/Natalya. Mature.
1. Preface

**Okay. So this is my first ever fanfiction. This is going to be multichap and maybe a bit _mature _but not terribly. This is the preface, so please give it a chance. Please review my writing style. I really want to know what people think of it. Thanks to all,  
><strong>

**Amy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

><p><em>She was running. She couldn't stop running. He was following her. She could tell but she daren't turn to look. If she did he'd pounce on her.<em>

_She passed trees and houses. She opened her mouth to scream. Silence. She couldn't scream. Nobody would know what was happening._

_The pressure was building. She had to get out alive. She needed to see him, to know where he was so she could make an escape._

_She craned her neck to see his position, still running. Her legs were hurting, she couldn't stay in this way for long, she needed to see his location. But he wasn't there. He'd vanished. _

_How long had she been running from nothing? She slowed down to a steady halt and surveyed her surroundings. Where the hell was he? She was panting wildly, stretching her arms down to legs, regaining her breath. Just then, he appeared behind her and brought a gun to her neck._


	2. Goodnight, Darling

Natalya woke up in bed. Her hair spread across her face, sticking to her hot skin. Small beads of sweat trickled down her head.

She was in a trance. What had just happened? Was it all real? Had she walked herself home? She couldn't remember anything that happened.

Two cold hands clutched at her waist. She jumped and screamed in shock. The hands curved around her stomach, pulling her down onto the someone's chest. She squirmed

"STOP! LET GO OF ME!"

She was screaming with all her might. A hand reached round and gently closed her mouth. They had a tight grip on her. She couldn't move. She was stuck and didn't want to be.

Tears trickled down her cheeks. The hand moved from her mouth and reached for her chin. She was pulled slightly to the side. She watched the stranger come into view, his eyes wide with concern.

It was James.

How did she not realise it was James?

His hand wiped away the wet streaks on her face. She sniffled. James opened his mouth to speak but Natalya had already buried her head in his chest.

James was lost for words. Why was she acting this way? Who did she think he was? His mind was full of questions and he knew that even Natalya didn't know the answers. It was one of those things you didn't understand.

Her hands fumbled at his back, clutching onto him tightly. James thought that she wouldn't let go. That she'd sleep like this and would wake up like it in the morning but she moved and snuck her head next to his shoulder. Her hands grabbed his arms. She gave a loud groan.

"Sorry." she mumbled the words like she didn't want anybody to hear but James did. He heard everything.

His hands traced her spine. The sheer physicality of Natalya was a marvel. She was so beautiful. Stunning. She could make the man she loved so happy. That's why James was so glad it was him.

"It's okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

He brought one of his hands up to her neck and rubbed it affectionately, gently ruffling her hair. He head gave a violent shake, so violent it knocked James's hand off and onto the bed. That was a definite no.

"Okay." He calmly pushed her head towards his. Her emerald eyes glistened in the moonlight. It seemed so cliché but it was true. Natalya was beauty incarnate.

She stared deep into her lovers eyes. She saw disappointment, anger, sadness, love and compassion. All of which would come flooding out sometime in the future.

"James I..." Her speech was stopped in mid-swing as she was thrown into a passionate kiss. She never wanted it to end. She loved this man so much. She wanted him. He wanted her.

She searched deeper into his mouth. Natalya let out a small moan as James widened his mouth. She placed her hand on his shoulder blade and pulled back. She crawled off his chest and snuggled under the duvet. James gave her a puzzled expression. Natalya just smiled in return and cuddled his arm.

"Goodnight James."

"Goodnight darling."


	3. Morning Stresses

The morning was just like any other. James woke up first, as always, and surveyed his new lover. Visions of women that he'd been with other the years flashed before his eyes like a movie. Each one special in their own way. But there was something about Natalya. Something about how she questioned him, her realistic yet innocent view of the world. James didn't know what exactly but he knew that Natalya was like none of the others. He cared for her; he cared for all of them. But the idea of Natalya being hurt or scared sickened him to the core.

Natalya's eyes were lightly closed under messy hair, her face relaxed in deep slumber. She looked so peaceful when she slept. It was the only time when all of that hurt and anger could escape her. She reminded him so much of Tracy. Her peaceful expression as she lay in the car next to him, her face not burdened with the cold harsh reality of life. Rather, it was James who later suffered for her blissful sleep.

James' eyes soon drifted over Natalya's body. She was lying with her back to him in a beautiful silk nightgown that James had bought for her after their incident in Cuba. It fell on her body beautifully, even though the aftermath of a not so peaceful sleep had left creases almost everywhere and the dress hitching up towards her thigh. James placed a warm hand on her leg as he breathed in the scent of her hair. He often contemplated sex when things got too much for him. Both James and Natalya knew that sex was his distraction.

He gently moved his hand up her leg, brushing her nightgown out of the way, exposing her upper thigh and lacy white underwear. He breathed out a sigh. He knew he shouldn't do this to her. Not after last night. But each time he contemplated removing his hand, his mind ran to thoughts of despair and hurt, forcing him to keep his hand placed on her thigh for some form of security. He needed to be distracted, and for James, nothing worked better than sex.

He moved his body a little closer to hers. Moving his hand underneath her nightgown and letting it travel up her body to her chest. A small groan from Natalya alerted him that he'd woken her. Her body shifted a little before returning to it's original position. James could tell by the sound of her breathing that she'd quickly fallen asleep again. He needed her now, his mind clouded with horrible thoughts that he'd always tried to drown with a martini and a couple of hot women in bikinis. He was getting worked up, he could feel his breathing become erratic as his thoughts wondered to loneliness. Not being able to ever love anyone. Killing people who had families and friends. _No, it keeps you alone. _The conversation on the beach replayed itself in his mind over and over again. Each time James became more and more angry with himself for having feelings.

James' hand finally moved towards Natalya's breast, she had a bra on, which wasn't surprising as she had to wear one during the cold Russian winters. His grip tightened a little, forcing her sleeping limp body to be pushed against him. This time Natalya stirred more, her eyes fluttered open and she gave another small moan as she stretched her hands behind her back to run her fingers through James' soft mop of hair. The sudden reciprocal contact gave James' muscles a buzz as his twitching fingers still rested on her breast. Natalya slowly looked down at her silk nightgown, and the long arm that was hidden underneath it, and gave a small chuckle.

"Good morning to you too." The words escaped her mouth as she smiled her biggest smile. She twisted her head slightly to look at him, her whole body turning with it, giving James even more access to her chest, and the ability to play with her breasts lightly with his fingers. She was greeted with a kiss. First passionate, but then the passion burnt away and only frustration was left. It was an angry kiss. Even though Natalya and James' time together had been relatively short, she was used to this. His grip on her breast became harder, causing a small gasp to escape her mouth, giving James an opportunity to slip his tongue between her lips. Natalya didn't mind his angry kisses. She knew how to handle them.

James' actions became more intense and were executed with frightening speed. Within seconds, her nightgown was on the his bedroom floor, and his lips were on her neck, sucking gently. Her hands didn't move from his hair unless it was to remove her auburn hair from her face. She knew she had to play along with James until all of his anger had been vented out. She knew it would inevitably end up in sex, and quite rough sex too. Natalya always thought it was a shame, as James had the ability to make her feel things that she'd never felt before when they made love. His touch could be so gentle and loving on her skin, yet here he was, vigorously grinding against her side, one hand clutching at her breast, the other delved into his boxers.

Natalya knew this had to stop, it was 7 o clock in the morning and her mind was elsewhere. She moved her body to face him and cupped his head in her hands, gently stroking his cheeks. James immediately calmed down, sensing her love made him feel warm inside. Natalya was able to make him forget. Her soft touch could heal those deep scars hidden beneath his skin. He buried his head into her neck, his hands rushing around her back, cradling her in his arms. She welcomed the warm embrace, and he could feel her smile against the side of his cheek.

"Ssh. Calm down now. It's alright. I'm here now I'm awake." She moved his head to face her. Natalya planted a warm caring kiss on his forehead and her thumb moved to his lips and lightly rubbed them. James couldn't help but smile at this miraculous woman. She was so beautiful. Her smile could make him smile. That was a rare occurrence for James. He treasured that moment forever as he knew that his job wouldn't allow their relationship to last much longer. Or would it? Home life was limited when you were a spy. Natalya was enough of a weakness for James when they had only just met, imagine how weak he'd be if they caught her now. Or later when their relationship had been cemented in marriage. But did he deserve someone to love? After so many years dedicating his life to his country, surely he could have the chance to love... His pondering was interrupted by Natalya's sleepy voice.

"Do you want a cup of coffee?" James tucked a loose strand of Natalya's hair behind her ear. Quickly and quietly, he slipped out of bed without replying. Natalya couldn't help but admire his perfectly toned body and found herself smiling widely at his figure. His breath still a little erratic, he strode out of the room into his open plan living room. Natalya shifted in bed until she was resting on her own arm. She stared up at the ceiling and wondered if their relationship meant anything more to him other than sex. The man didn't even want to share a morning coffee with her. She thought about the night before. The way he had held her, the way he had made her feel safe. She thought whether she had that same effect on him. James never delved much into emotions. He believed that if he never admitted his feelings to someone, they never existed. Natalya lay in bed for a few minutes, attempting to delay ever getting up from the bed. Their bed. _His bed. _She suddenly felt as if she was trespassing on his property. James had often dealt with "the morning after". Natalya hadn't experienced many.

A wave of uncomfortable emotions forced Natalya to sit in the edge of the bed. Just as she was about to stand up she heard a deep velvety voice behind her.

"Leaving so soon?"

Natalya turned her head to see James standing in the doorway holding a tray piled high with toast and scrambled egg. And two coffee mugs. He did want morning coffee. He sat down on the bed, relaxing his legs out in front of him. Balancing the tray on his lap, he patted the space next to him in bed, beckoning Natalya to join him. She stared wide eyed at this mound of food on his lap.

"What's the matter? Never had breakfast in bed before?" Natalya shook her head slowly before returning her gaze to James. He had a big smile on his face. Natalya couldn't tell if this was some sort of apology for his earlier actions, or an act of pure kindness. Or maybe love. Natalya tried not to concentrate on the latter, and crawled back into bed next to James. He slid the tray over his lap onto hers. She tentatively picked up a piece of toast in her delicate fingers. Before she parted her lips to start eating her breakfast, James gave her a quick peck on the cheek and stretched his arm over her shoulders, bringing her in a bit closer. He took a sip from his steaming coffee as Natalya tucked into her first meal in bed. She brought her coffee cup up to her lips, took a gulp and relaxed her head into James' neck. They both simultaneously took sips from their hot beverages as they snuggled into their comfy position.

Unfortunately it wasn't to last as the stinging sound of James' phone ringing interrupted their small embrace. James swiftly jumped out of bed and grabbed the phone. Natalya used this as an opportunity to polish off her breakfast. She gulped the last of her coffee down and drank the remainder of her orange juice. What a way to start the day. She pushed the tray off her lap and placed it on a dresser on the other side of the room.

The light pushing it's way through the blinds in his bedroom scorched her back as she stood facing James, attempting to read his thoughts and understand his business calls. Outside, the busy hum of London traffic rang through her ears. It was a change for Natalya. Once, she would have woken up to the sound of a harsh wind blowing snow across her windows, and now the sun peeked through the cloudy sky of suburban London. There was something so beautiful about a working city. She had always admired the hustling streets of St. Petersburg, but Natalya's work forced her to isolated, icy parts of Russia where her only company was a few husky dogs. Natalya thought she could get used to this, waking up to something other than the noise of extreme weather.

Natalya's future was uncertain; she was without a job, the Russian and British governments would surely want to question her. And yet here she was in an apartment in London with a man who she hardly knew. And yet she was so drawn to him. She kept convincing herself that a couple that go through distressing events early on in a relationship take less time to grow closer than another couple, and it wasn't just her heart running away with her.

She looked back over at Bond, furiously scribbling down notes on a nearby pad. He looked annoyed, and rushed. He kept murmuring things down the phone that Natalya couldn't quite catch. It was quite obvious that the phone call was from work. Natalya wondered who was on the other end. Was it Q that she'd heard James mention once? James abruptly ended the phone call by slamming the phone down on the table and cursing under his breath before putting both of his hands on the edge of the desk and slumping.

Natalya ran over to him, maybe with a bit too much haste, and held him from behind as his despair seeped through his skin. James broke off their hug by turning over and cupping her face.

"You need to get dressed. We're going out." The sternness in his voice hurt Natalya's heart. It was more like an order than a suggestion, and Natalya wasn't fond of being told what to do. It was the first time since their stay in their cell that James had used that tone with her. It frightened her. She knew how strong James was, and how dangerous and cold he could be. Her loving expression faded from her sweet face within seconds. Sensing her distress, James swiftly picked Natalya up like he had in Cuba and swung her around him before rubbing their noses together and kissing her lips. "Please" he whispered. Natalya moved her hand up to his cheek and rubbed it slightly, before gently nodding and going in for a second kiss.

The two lovers both rushed to the bathroom to freshen up before agreeing that it was best to attempt to utilise the large wash space and get ready together. The bathroom was cosy. It had a spacious bath with half burnt out candles littered around it from a couple of nights before. Natalya jumped in front of the sink before James had even grabbed his razor. James watched her bend over the sink to fetch some soap from the shelf above it with her small arms. He gladly came to the rescue, reaching with seemingly no effort and bringing it to her hand. He stepped back a little, aware that he was leaning all over her body.

"Where are we going?"

"MI6."

Natalya turned around dumbstruck to face a smiling James. He could see thousands of questions race behind her eyes. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth, ready to spill. James quickly grabbed her back and brought her into a deep kiss as a precautionary measure. He took hold of her shoulders and pushed her back a little, prematurely breaking the kiss. He touched the tip of her nose with his index finger.

"I'll explain later." He took a moment to pause and examine her. Not many women could boast that they looked flawless without makeup; yet Natalya always seemed to look so perfect. She of course would have to disagree. Natalya never saw herself as conventionally beautiful. Even with makeup on, she would have rated herself as tolerable. James wanted so much to make her believe that she was beautiful and sexy. But alas, every time he contemplated her, the response was always something negative. James knew that his previous lovers didn't exactly help the situation. Spies, supermodels, cellists. The list was diverse, and long. Never before had he dated a computer programmer from Severnaya. He smiled at her natural beauty. He could see the scars all over her broken heart, but one day he hoped he could fix them. If she let him of course. He placed a hand on her chest over her heart and stared at it for a while. The warmth of skin made him feel so loved. He could feel her chest move up and down as she breathed in and out.

James broke out of his dream state and snatched his hand away from her body. The loss of contact broke Natalya's little heart. She was so close to him and now he was walking out the door mentioning something about the urgency of this meeting. Natalya turned back to the mirror and inspected her body. She was so full of flaws. Her body wasn't curvy, and she was sure she'd put on weight since she left Russia. She clutched at her stomach in despair, before focusing on the tasks at hand and finishing her wash.


	4. Into the Unknown

It wasn't long before the couple were in James' classic Aston Martin DB5. Natalya was aware of his slight obsession with automobiles. Boys with toys sprung into her head. She looked around her at the bustling London streets and then back to him. He was so serious, it scared her a little. His hands were firmly gripped onto the steering wheel, his eyes staring at the road in front of him , and yet there was a softness to him. She dreamed about holding his cheek, resting her head on his shoulders and closing her eyes. Even just him being next to her sent shivers down her spine, his body was so impeccably formed. But still, despite her adoring glare, his eyes kept looking straight, flexing his fingers on the steering wheel. Natalya slumped back into her chair and looked left towards civilisation.

They crossed the bridge over Thames, MI6 already in sight. James looked over to his left, giving a quick uninterested glance towards his workplace before turning his attention to Natalya. She was tired, and huddled into the corner, her head resting on the window gazing at her surroundings with mild wonder. He slipped one hand off the steering wheel and rested it on her leg. It wasn't a reaction that she expected, but one she appreciated. She moved her hand to lie on his. She gave his palm a loving squeeze, not removing her gaze from the river.

Inside Natalya was excited, she'd never been to MI6 before. She'd only heard a drunken James recite a stories about some previous missions, which she presumed were supposed to be top secret. Then there was Moneypenny. She'd heard him on the phone to her on a few occasions. Her feelings towards Moneypenny were mixed. Who was she? What did she look like? Natalya thought back to her naked figure in the mirror. She bet Moneypenny was beautiful and that's why James had always slightly changed his tone when he was calling her. It'd be interesting to finally put a face to the name.

As they walked through the doors of MI6, Natalya's eyes wondered to the many people rushing in and out of doors, women holding stacks of paper, men in suits. Probably all trained killers she thought dismissively. This lifestyle was part of hers now. She got swept up into this world by the very man who was standing next to her. He strode ahead, walking straight to an elevator. Natalya followed suit, hoping not to be picked out by a curious security guard, as she lacked identification and passes. Surely MI6 would be more secure than simply walking into an elevator. Anyone could do this. And then her questions were answered. The elevator doors slid open to reveal a long silver corridor, with security guards at every corner. Key pads by the side of every door. And guns. Lots of guns. Although she'd used one herself, and James was certainly no stranger, Natalya hated the sight of them. They made her feel uneasy. She kept close to James' side, swinging her hand closer to his, hinting that she wanted to clutch onto his skin for security, but her request was denied. James swiftly walked towards a door, got a nod from a guard and punched in some digits on the nearby keypad. The door slid open, and he gestured for Natalya to walk before him.

She was greeted by a room with no windows, but plenty of light, with wood covered walls and exquisite rugs. A desk was at the other side of the room with a woman sitting at it. Her hair was longer than Natalya's and less bright, but still had a hint of red. She had beautiful large eyes and a smile that lit up the office more than the lamps on the wall. She stood up and flattened her dress. It was dark mint green and went down to her knees. Professional yet elegant, thought Natalya.

"James!" She walked over to the couple and smiled at Natalya. James looked at both of these beautiful women. He looked down to Natalya and gestured towards the figure in front of them.

"Darling, this is Moneypenny. Moneypenny, this is Natalya." Moneypenny winced at the thought of James calling anyone other than her 'darling'. James held her heart, and each time he mentioned another woman, her heart ripped a little more.

"Ah yes. I've read your file. James doesn't normally bring his women to work." There was a hint of spitefulness in her words. Almost as if daggers had shot out of her mouth instead. James could sense the tension and stood awkwardly between the two women. Natalya stretched out her hand towards Moneypenny slowly, as if she was scared it was going to be bit off.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Moneypenny. I've heard so much about you." She gave a bitter smile. She suddenly realised that Moneypenny was jealous of her. That James wasn't attracted to Moneypenny, rather it was the other way round. This was her man, and her place, and she would fight for it. Even if secretaries to the mysterious 'M' got in her way. Yet there was a dark remorse inside of her. Bonds other women. The supermodels and spies. Natalya kept a straight back and turned to James, urging him to carry on the conversation. He understood her plea, and placed his hand on her lower back, regardless of Moneypenny's disappointed expression, and directed Natalya through another door, a wooden one, which lead to yet another office. Except this one was larger, with bookcases and dressers and a whole wall dedicated to windows. Natural light seeped in like a disease. It was everywhere, and the shadows retreated to the back of the room in fear.

"M will be with you shortly James." Moneypenny gave a quick smile before nodding at Natalya's existence. James put a loving arm around Natalya's waist and drew her in closer, resting his chin on her hair, and kissing the top of her head. He then walked back and poured themselves two drinks. Bourbon, no ice. Natalya kindly noted that it was still only 9 in the morning, and maybe drinks should wait until later.

"The drinks weren't for you." He lifted his glass to his lips and took a swig. Hurt by his comments, Natalya turned to look out the floor length windows, her arms crossed. James walked over to her and bent down at her knees and parted them a little. "I'm in a bad mood, don't take anything I say seriously. I just didn't think you'd want Bourbon this early." He tapped her nose with his finger like he had done earlier. "I know you better than you think." He gave her quick kiss on the lips, his hands resting on the arm of the chair. Natalya continued staring out into the distance, pretending to not have acknowledged his hollow apology.

"C'mon." he beckoned. "Give me a smile." He moved his head into her line of sight, only for her to move her gaze towards the right of the room. "Smile for me!" There was laughter in his voice, he was smiling himself. Natalya couldn't be angry at that smile for any longer. She forced a grin bearing all her teeth, lifting her head up for extra exaggeration. They both laughed together and Natalya's hands fell onto his shoulders. James caught her chin in his hands and rubbed her lips softly with his thumb. For a moment they felt like the only two in the building. He gave a warm smile before standing up and walking calmly behind her chair. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

M walked through the door towards the desk abruptly. "Sit down James." M was a strong character, stronger than James. She didn't take mess from anyone. James followed her order and calmly strode towards the chair next to Natalya's. M sat in her chair and surveyed the couple through narrowed eyes. M had short, greying hair trimmed neatly. Despite her demanding and masculine personality, M did take care of herself. She wore a natural red lipstick on her pursed lips with a small coat of mascara. She was much older than James, and wrinkles had started to appear in the corners of her eyes.

M studied Natalya. She had been very aware of James' effects on women. She was petite and thin. But there was a fire burning behind her eyes. M admired that. She thought maybe James had met his match, seen as every other women she's thrown his way had been less resistant to his affections. M gave a small smirk at the woman sitting opposite her. A fighter, she thought. She relaxed into her chair and gave a deep sigh. She reached out a brown file from a draw under her desk and opened it.

"Natalya Fyodorovna Simonova." she read aloud. "Born 4th June 1970 in Yekaterinburg, Russia. Former employee of the Secret Space Weapons Facility in Severnaya. Not married, no children. Parents died in a car accident in Saint Petersburg, 1984. Diagnosed with anorexia in 1988." She paused and looked at Natalya, who's expression had not changed since they last exchanged glances. M looked back at her paper unmoved and continued reading. "Started work at Severnaya in 1989."

James looked over at his lover. Natalya's heart needed mending more than he thought. Anorexia at the age of 18. She'd certainly overcome it, yet it explained her small fragile frame that he longed to cling onto in bed. Some nights he thought that if he held onto her too tight he'd snap her in two. Natalya was a healthy weight now, but she was still very light. James could swing her around with ease. As for her parents dying, they both knew how that felt. A deep sorrow enveloped James. He knew how his parents death made him feel. The idea of Natalya going through that pain physically hurt him. He clenched onto the arms of his chair and dug his fingernails into the soft fabric.

M looked disinterested at James' sudden uncomfortable behaviour. She turned back to Natalya. "Is that everything Miss Simonova, or have I missed something out?" M wasn't being malicious. These circumstances in Natalya's life were ones that she had learned to live with, M appreciated that. James kept a straight face and looked forward as Natalya shook her head.

"No, M, I think you covered all aspects." She sat with her back straight, her hands resting gently on her lap. "Although I was declared clear of anorexia in 1990. I thought I should point that out." M welcomed the input and smiled.

"And now you're here. MI6." M walked over to her bourbon that James had poured earlier. She picked it up and let the liquid caress her lips. "Well done, both of you, on GoldenEye. Maybe a bit less collateral damage would have been preferred. You did murder some very important people. Yet, I think a congratulations is in order." She returned to her seat and looked back at them. "But we have a problem." M paused and took another gulp from her drink. "With you Natalya."

Natalya turned to Bond, wide eyed. He didn't look to acknowledge her gaze. He was striving to stay calm, staring ahead. He knew. Natalya knew now why he was so stressed this morning. Why he made rash decisions. He knew what was coming. He knew he was going to lose his Natalya. She turned back to M and cleared her throat.

"They want me back in Russia, don't they?" Her voice was stable and relaxing. It soothed Bond from the inside. M nodded sharply. She pushed a single paper over the desk in Natalya's direction. It was a ticket. A one way ticket to St Petersburg. Natalya picked it up in her delicate fingers and inspected it for a few moments before gracefully standing up from her chair, thanking both M and bond for the ticket and leaving. She walked through the heavy wooden door and looked over at Moneypenny. She thought no doubt she was happy about it.

"Take care of James for me." Moneypenny nodded. She wished her a safe flight, which surprised Natalya. It wasn't a hurtful comment, rather it was sincere. Natalya gave a quick smile and walked through the office once more. Within moments she was out of MI6, whistling down a taxi.


	5. Full Suitcases

James ran out of his car that he'd parked a few houses away from his own. He rushed through the door, straight upstairs to his bedroom where he could see Natalya neatly placing clothes into a small suitcase. She lifted up the nightgown that James had bought her, and folded it gently, caressing the soft fabric in the palm of her hands.

Bond strode over to her and placed two cold hands on her stomach. He pressed himself against her back, almost pushing her over onto the bed. She put her hands out to hold onto the sides of the suitcase in order to steady herself. James kissed the back of her neck a few times. They were small kisses, but nonetheless powerful. "I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear. Natalya paused for a moment and straightened her back. Bond was a state. It was obvious he'd violently tugged on his hair in the car and his palms were red from his tight grip on the steering wheel.

"Ssh. Hey..." Natalya rested her hands on his cheeks and caressed them slightly. "Just because M only gave me one ticket doesn't mean I can't buy my own and come back later." She gave a warm smile. They both knew she wouldn't be coming back. She drew her head in closer to his, enveloping him in a deep kiss. It was warm and comforting, and James appreciated it. He brushed his hand through her hair, pushing stray locks behind her ears. Then, slowly, he moved his hand down her back and pulled her in a little closer. Her arms wrapped around his body as their burning kiss turned into a loving embrace. James lightly lifted Natalya off the ground as their hug lasted longer and longer. It was a beautiful moment and Natalya made a mental note to remember it. Natalya was the first to draw away, planting a gentle kiss on James' neck as she was lowered to the ground.

"Let me help you pack." James' voice was soft but broken. Natalya gave a silent nod and the couple turned towards the bed, picking up clothing and folding it together. The two were silent for most of the ordeal, and although the silence was eerie, it wasn't awkward. It was necessary. Both knew that there were things to say, things that should have been said a long time ago, but they also knew that they were things that were never going to be said. The silence wrapped around Natalya like a blanket, gently suffocating her. But she knew any attempt at conversation would be forced, it wouldn't be comfortable.

James went over to a draw and picked up the few items of jewellery that Natalya had bought with her. A simple silver chain with a small infinity pendant caught his eye. It was delicate and encrusted in small diamonds. He held it up against the light from the window as it glimmered. The light sent tiny rainbows dancing around the room. Natalya looked up from her suitcase over to James. He looked over at her, his beautiful Natalya, and beckoned for her to walk over. James reached his hands over her neck, and fastened the necklace resting on her delicate shoulders.

"It's a beautiful necklace." He said admiring it. It fitted well with Natalya. It mimicked her beauty and fragile nature. Natalya smiled bearing all her teeth before placing her hand on the pendant.

"My parents bought it me for my 13th birthday. I hardly wear it nowadays, but I never leave the house without it." She looked back up at Bond. His gaze was directed at her eyes. "I didn't think you'd like it, not glam enough." Natalya returned James' gaze, trying to work out exactly what goes on inside his mind. James was a man of shadows and mysteries. There was so much about this man that she didn't know, but then again, there was so much about her that he didn't know. James had realised that earlier after M had given a brief report of Natalya's life. Even though she was not as old as Bond, and she wasn't a trained spy, Bond wouldn't be surprised if Natalya's life was full of adventures. There was so much more he wanted to learn about her. Things that aren't written down in reports.

"Are you trying to suggest I only have a taste for 'glam' things?" James looked at his lover through narrowed eyes. "Because that's not true at all." He paused, pondering his next move. "I mean..." He moved his hand behind her ear. "I have a taste for you." A big grin broke out on James' face as Natalya batted him away, muttering in between laughing. He grabbed her hands and pulled them towards him, smiling the whole time. Natalya laughed.

"You get off me you horrible man!" She pushed and pushed at his hands but his grip was too tight, and soon she was being lifted up into his arms. Just like they had done before. James walked calmly over the bed, Natalya still cradled in his arms. "Don't you even think about it Bond." Natalya talked in a mocking tone. James looked over to her and grinned, lifting his eyebrows up and showed all his teeth. She laughed, and James took the opportunity to drop her onto the bed. Within seconds, Natalya was sitting up ready to jump out of his reach and tackle him from behind, but the couple had played this game before, and James was used to her sly tricks, and caught her waist in his hands, pushing her back down onto the bed.

"You are a mean, horrible, old man James Bond." James backed away disgusted, placing a hand on his heart in shock. His jaw was dropped, and his face conveyed the emotion of comical pain.

"That hurts Natalya. That hurts me deep down." Just the look on his face sent Natalya into a fit of laughter, sitting up, her legs dangling off the side of the bed. She was teasing him and they both knew it. It was too much for James, and he ran over to her on the bed, pushing her down with all of his weight. He pinned her arms above her head. "Take it back."

Natalya shook her head, stifling a smile. "Take it back!" James lowered his body until he lay across her. "Take it back." His voice was quieter and he'd stopped laughing. It was as if James Bond has shut down on top of her. His hands were still firmly gripped on Natalya's wrists as Bond dug his head into her neck. The grip on her wrists tightened still, causing Natalya to grit her teeth. James was a powerful man. Natalya realised early on that he could easily snap her bones under his grasp. But she didn't alert James to the pain he was causing her. She knew that he needed it. He needed to vent somehow, and soon his grip would weaken.

She judged correctly and within seconds, James loosened his grasp and slid his hands down Natalya's arms, straight down her sides until they rested on her waist. "Take it back." His voice was muffled into her skin. "Please take it back."

Natalya ruffled James' hair through her slender fingers. "You're none of those things." She mentioned smoothly. "You'll never be those things to me." Her voice was silky and soothing. She spoke quietly against his cheek, rubbing the back of his neck with her hand. James suddenly pushed himself up and rested on his arms above Natalya. The sudden movement made her muscles tense and take a sharp breath. James looked down on this woman. This beautiful, loving woman. She could cause storms and calm seas. Bond paused for a moment before lowering himself down and kissing Natalya on her neck. He moved his kisses lower and lower, slowly finding his way down her chest.

Natalya exhaled and arched her back towards him. James slipped his hands underneath her and rubbed her spine gently, still planting soft kisses down her stomach. Her hand found it's way into James' hair, as she entwined her fingers into his soft mop. Bond sat upright, leaving Natalya lying down on the bed, her chest heaving up and down and her back still arched towards him. She looked up at him as he studied her form, and decided to sit up with him, placing herself gently on his lap. She shuffled herself closer to him as she rested her head onto his shoulder.

She peered out of the window, attempting to regain her normal breathing pattern. Dark rain clouds had started to cover the sky, and the first drop of water began to fall, splashing against the window panes. Natalya marvelled at how the British weather could change so quickly. It reminded her of James' mood. He was so changeable. Especially with her. It was as if he let himself forget his troubles for a few moments, and yet as soon as he remembered hem, they'd come crashing down on him harder than before. It made spending time with him difficult, but for James, Natalya was willing to put in the effort. She knew this couldn't last much longer, as soon she'd be on a plane to Russia and was never going to see her beautiful spy again. But her flight wasn't for another couple of hours, and it would only take a few minutes of concentrated packing to be ready, so she allowed herself this embrace with Bond.

Bond moved his hand to touch her cheek, slightly turning her head to face him directly. He rubbed her sift skin a little with his thumb before moving his face in closer. "Let me make love to you." He whispered. He'd never used those words before, or asked for permission. Natalya's expression was motionless, and she removed herself from Bond's lap and stood next to the bed, concentrating on the trails of water left by the rain hitting the glass windows.

"Bond." Her voice was throaty and deep. She continued to look out towards the street as she contemplated her next words. Natalya opened her mouth several times, each time attempting to start a new sentence before she gave up and sat back down on the bed again. "What do you mean by make love?" She'd often wondered James' definition of the act. James' eyes widened. Natalya was cynical of his request and narrowed her eyes, occasionally flicking her hair out from her line of sight. James placed another hand on her cheek, stroking it gently before moving in for yet another kiss. He drew her closer, dragging her from her position until she was lying on top of him, both of their legs dangling off the side of the bed. He tugged lightly on the hair above the nape of her neck, and she moved away. "I want to make love to you. I want these moments to be special my darling."

Even hearing James mention the word 'love' sent shivers down her spine. Yet she carried on kissing him, and indulged herself in a little rocking of her body. Natalya was torn. She felt that by carrying on like this, she was somehow the inferior sex. James would just use her for the last time and send her packing, feeling even worse as before. But the words 'make love'. They beckoned her to carry on, as if there was a surprise around the corner. Her body began to rock to a more steady rhythm as she let her heart control her actions. She placed her hands out beside her, pulling her head away from Bond and interrupting their passionate kiss. She took the opportunity to lean back, and begin straddling James, all the while rocking her body into his. Her breathing became erratic again. She wanted and needed this as much as James did. It was not the send off she was hoping for, but it was one she appreciated. James moved his hands to her waist and flipped her over, pushing his legs in between hers, parting them even wider.

"No. I want to make love to you. Not have sex with you." His choice of language left Natalya confused, and she tilted her head slightly, unconsciously mimicking a small puppy who didn't understand his masters orders. James moved down yet again and continued their kiss, breathing a little heavier each time he exhaled. "Will you let me?" James gave no room for a reply, as he slipped Natalya's dress off her fragile body, and draped it over the suitcase that lay next to them in bed.

"You're so beautiful." James began to rock with Natalya, as they pushed their bodies together in time. "You're so so beautiful." James pushed the words out in between kisses. His hands traced the sides of her body, along her arms and clung onto her palms. Their fingers tangled together as the two lovers continued their kiss.

"James." Natalya murmured his name a few times. She gripped his hand tighter as Bond's movements became quicker. But soon his movements became harder, and his grip on her hands became unbearable. He thrust his body next to hers and he interrupted their kiss to grit his teeth. Natalya's thumbs rubbed against James' hands, calming him back down again.

"James, I should finish packing." Her soft voice ran circles around James' brain. Natalya began to sit up, taking him with her. Their hands were still grasping onto each other as she led him over to her suitcase. "You always were good at getting me naked." Natalya let out a small laugh as she picked up her dress and slipped back into it. James lightly held onto her waist as their hands lost contact. Natalya turned slightly to evaluate Bond. He stood next to her, his suit a little ruffled from earlier actions and his hair looked out of control. He was glancing out of the window at the rain. Natalya spun on the spot and quickly fixed his appearance, running her fingers through his hair and straightening his tie. It was not time for sex or love. It was time for goodbyes. She knew that no farewell would ever do their relationship justice.

After content with the way his suit looked, Natalya turned back to her duties and finished her packing. She zipped up the suitcase and dragged it off the bed and onto the floor.

James questioned her. "Do you have your passport?" Natalya waved in in front of James before placing it in her hand luggage. "How about your tickets?" Natalya once again delved into her bag and fished out the single ticket that M had given her earlier before returning it back to its place. "Do you have any sweets for the flight?" Natalya placed a finger on James' lips.

"James, Darling." She removed her finger and grasped her suitcase, swinging her handbag over her shoulder. "I'll be fine." She forced a smile before walking through the room towards a door. She stood by the front entrance waiting for Bond. Waiting for their goodbye.

"Do you need me to drive you to the airport?" James stood opposite Natalya. His height meant he was towering above her, even though Natalya herself was rather tall.

"It's alright. I think I'd rather call a taxi." Natalya reached out for the door handle and pulled it, opening the door wide. Just as she stepped out, James grabbed her arm and brought her close to him. His body was warm, and she could feel his breath on the top of her head. He didn't tilt his head down towards her, but stared directly in front of him at a spot on the wall where a painting used to hang. The wallpaper had faded a little around the edges, and there was a definite line where it still retained some colour, as the painting had protected it from the harsh summer rays. Natalya curled her arms around James' torso and gave a small squeeze. Bond planted a quick kiss on Natalya's forehead before letting her small frame leave his embrace.

Natalya walked through the door and towards the pavement, where she waved down a taxi that was whizzing past. James decided not to follow her, she was following her own path now. The taxi driver got out and rushed to her side, opening the door for her and placing her luggage in the boot of the car. Natalya placed one foot in the cab and turned back to Bond, who was standing in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. As she continued getting into the cab she heard a voice and turned to face it.

"Natalya." Bond had removed his hands from his pocket and had walked over to her door. "Stay out of trouble for me." He gave a wide grin and rubbed her chin with his hand. She nodded and returned his smile, before relaxing back into her seat. James shut the door for her and stood back as the taxi drove off. He watched it turn a corner before he walked back up the steps to his apartment, and closed the door behind him.


End file.
